the narnia effect

alright so it was me and seton. and for some reason heathcliff (from wuthering heights) kidnapped draco malfoy (don't ask) and kept him in his attic. seton & i were hiding in his closet and were trying to save him when the Narnia Effect pulled us over to the squash courts.

phil hadn't made varsity squash, so i tried to convince him to do stage crew but before i could, the Narnia Effect brought me back to draco's closet.

there, i found draco had fallen down the stairs and broken his neck

and heathcliff was actually sad.

WAIT WHAT?

so i was on this boat, and we were going somewhere or something, when all of the sudden this one teacher (yeah, somehow my school was a boat?) decides to kidnap half the school and sail off.

now he was pure evil, and his name was voldemort (D: D: i was reading harry potter before i went to bed) and he stole my twin brother! (i don't actually have one...) so of course i had to go save him. so i commandeered the school ship, yelled at the a girl, got dumbledore's permission and sailed after voldemort.

now, voldemort had sailed into some cove where there was a giant whale in the midst of battle with a giant shark. both animals were twice the size of our super-big ships. so the whale accidentally decimates voldemort's ship, which starts sinking and floating and doing little flips in the water -- like all sinking ships do, right? -- and then our ship got its bow stuck in a glacier so the shark rears up and goes "i'm the shark, i'llll save youuuuu" and comes to save us...

so, all in all, we save everyone and retrieve my twin brother and all the stolen students.

mr. jaccaci died in the process, and we were all very sad

... until he climbs onto the boatschool and says "i'm not dead yet!" and i was like "yeah, he's feeling better!" and someone else was like "he feels like going for a walk!"

pink and orange and yellow

so i had a dream where this guy asked me to help bring a water cooler into his house. since i helped him, he gave me this bag full of frozen candy.

i put the bag in my freezer.

it was bugged (electronically) because the guy was an undercover operative who believed my older brother had been murdered/kidnapped and thought my family had done it

so i went looking for my brother, and i had to travel along this wooden path in the woods and avoid the pink, orange and yellow leaves that had fallen on the ground. if i walked on them, i'd sink, but there were some parts where the wooden path made you sink into the leaves, and the leaves were the actual path.

not to mention the bees that attacked you and tried to push you off the right path...

OH, NOSTALGIA

so i've had this dream, and i thought i'd share it since it's one i have every couple of years, seriously.

i'm in second grade again.

with mrs. hedden.

and then the classroom just sank into hell.

:o

the island of elephants

this is one of those dreams that i KNOW i've had before:

i start off on a beach. stealing a dingy i drive into this cave. bringing the dingy up along the side of the cave, i climb up this ladder, across a ridge on the same side of the cave, climb down a ladder on the same side of the cave about fifty feet away from the first ladder, and drop into the water. (the whole climbing ladders thing was completely unecessary, but for some reason, i did it anyway?)

in the water, i swam across the cave to the other side. (now, you might be asking why i didn't just take the dingy to that side. my answer? i have no idea).

on the other side of the cave, i climbed through a cave within the cave, which led me to a tunnel which led me to this secret island.

the island had an indian pueblo on it.

it was a square house, with two floors.

i went up to the second floor - or tried to. the moment i climbed the stairs to the second floor, the floor started shaking so i had to get down.

then the phone rang.

the phone was on the side of the pueblo, one of those mounted wall ones like you can get in the Sims 1. don't ask me why it was there, i don't know, but i answered it. it was my mom - apparently, my nana had visited this supposedly SECRET island earlier and left her glass elephant, glass penguin, and glass cow there.

turning to my brothers (who were suddenly with me) i gave them the glass penguins and the glass cows to take back.

i brought back the glass elephant.

i accidentally broke it

and then i woke up

the dragonlord

so there was a city in the sky, just to the left of the dragonlord's domain.

the dragonlord was corrupt, and his kingdom was terrible.

the inhabitants of the city in the sky were ruled by the triad, and the triad knew their city was going to fall, and once it fell it would be swallowed up by the dragonlord's domain, and everyone would be miserable.

so they devised a plan to steal into the dragonlord's castle and take his three magic stones that granted one wish. see, the triad knew how to work the stones, and the dragonlord didn't even know what they did.

so the triad -- chase (from House), cameron (called cameron, but it was really foreman) and the fairy queen snuck into the dragonlord's keep to steal the jewels.

what they didn't know was that the dragonlord had given the jewels to me, his daughter.

bad choice.

the fairy queen told me i was the fourth triad, and it was my duty to get the jewels to the city in the sky. so, i mounted a flying narwhal and flew to the city. chase and the fairy queen and i made it back safely, but cameron was captured. the fairy queen wanted to go save him, but i told her no, because she was injured.

heroically, i flew down on a flying narwhal to save cameron.

unheroically, i failed epically and chase swooped down to save both cameron and me from the dragonlord's dungeons.

SO, with the four members of the triad safe, we used to jewels to create new land in the north, land that was free from the dragonlord's oppression.

the only way to get there was to sled through the trees.

i sledded through the trees, and only hit two on the way there.

"there" was a cold ski-lodge-esque place with a lot of bathrooms on the sides. it was a modest beginning to the new land in the north.

now, we four members of the triad wanted to apologize to the dragonlord for stealing his jewels, so we invited him down. he obliged, and came, but the moment he and his escort finished sledding down to us, their weapons disappeared. the dragonlord was understandably pissed, until i explained that all weapons in the north disappeared, and you didn't get them back until you left. i then went on to elaborate: if you intended to use something as a weapon, it also disappeared. to demonstrate, i grabbed a knife and made to stab the dragonlord with it.

the knife disappeared.

the dragonlord looked around at our skilodge-northern land and was like "this is it?"

i told him no, and led him outside, to the garage. entering the house through the garage (it doesn't make sense, i know!) i showed him that everyone who lived in the north had their own personal bedrooms, but since the bedrooms often got cold, everyone just stayed in the skilodge-bar.

so on our way back to the skilodge the dragonlord awkwardly brought up the subject of my kindomness. he said that technically, i was still a monk (what the people who lived in the dragonlord's domain were called) and if i wanted to fully become a northerner, he would let me.

i told him i was okay with being a monk.

his secretary then gave me a sword. it hadn't disappeared because it was blunt-edged, and was also one of the two magical swords that the anti-weaponness of the north didn't affect.

unfortunately, the second swoard was Excalibur, which an anti-dragonlord zealot stole from the archives and used, at that moment, to try to stab the dragonlord.

before he could, i stabbed him with the blunt pewter sword.

,.. he died.

i woke up.

rafts & harry potter

imagine a dock floating in the water.

the dock is in an outline of a square, so there's a thin strip of dock to walk on. it's possible to fall both ways into the water-- do you get what i'm trying to describe?

so anyways, the only way to live is to keep walking in a square along the dock. but the catch is, there are these flying snakes (think stargate go'auld) that jump out of the water and burrow into your neck.

it sounds silly - alright, get your laughs out -- but it was really EFFING SCARY. i'm terrified of snakes, and flying snakes that jump out of the water to steal your body are just ... ughhh.

unforunately, harry potter was pushed into the water.

people started making fun of him, since he was dead now, and they were all like "wow, he was supposed to be the greatest wizard ever, and he didn't even live a full century."

then, about three centuries later, harry potter came back and everyone was like WAIT WHAT?

then i woke up

the temple of innocence

so i had this weird dream.

it started off a snowy day at school. juan was somehow there, and i was trying to stumble back across the fields towards buell, where kp & sarah were in a snowball fight. i started snowball fighting, too, and then juan popped out of wheeler and was like... basically he went ninja on us and owned us in the snowball fight.

then i decided to go searching for the secret tunnel in the chapel. i was walking down this flagstone path when i noticed one of the flagstones was too small (? yeah i don't get it either). carefully, i moved it and then dropped down into the tunnel with two other people.

once down there, i manuevered around an old-fashioned looking column, and one of the people who'd come shined a light on me. i turned to face him, and he shot me in the chest.

i stood there, and was like "okay, what WAS THAT FOR?"

he told me "you didn't bring back-up batteries for your flashlight. the rules are, if you don't bring back-up batteries we have to shoot you."

"well," i said, "i didn't even bring a flashlight."

"oh. okay that's fine, sorry about shooting you."

then we proceeded to descend to find the temple of treasures at the bottom of this tunnel-place.

now, imagine a square. as you look down into the darkness, there are different levels, like looking down a staircase that wraps around the walls, you know?

except these levels weren't staircases -- one level didn't have a set of stairs up to the next, and the only way to get down was to jump over the edge of your level, and swim through the air as you fell to get to the next one. me and the two other random folks did this twice, when we heard someone's batteries dropped.

thinking that this stranger was a bad guy, i jumped down the levels after him.

the next level had two sides: one side was lighted, and one side ones. the bad guy jumped to the lighted side, so i jumped to the dark side. the bad guy yelled at me "JUMP!"

i was confused, but i jumped anyway, leaping across the level towards the lighted side. just as i pushed off from my dark side of the level, a monster poked out, trying to eat me. the stranger-bad guy had saved my life, so he wasn't a bad guy anymore.

we continued jumping down the levels.

when we got to the floor, there was nothing there.

disappointed, we were about to leave (i don't know how) when i realized the floor was carpet.

so we peeled up a section of carpet and found a staircase down to the REAL temple...

... and we ended up as mice, in this little girl's bed as her father read her a bedtime story. i asked the previously-strangerbadguy "Wait, what about the temple full of treasure?"

he told me "this is the temple -- and the treasure is childhood innocence."

i stared at him. "well that's lame. let's leave."

unfortunately, we were mice, and we didn't know how to.

fortunately, i woke up before we got killed.

this is fuping, signing out!!

dreams and such

[NOTE: this is an anti-capital characters post. 8D ]

FOR TWO NIGHTS RUNNING

i have been having ridiculously weird dreams.

ridiculously weird militaristic dreams. 

perhaps it's a fortelling of my future?

... haha. 

no. i'm way too wimpy to ever join the military, and yes, i'm being serious. afraid of the dark + glasses + dislike of runnig + fear of gore + well, i'm very jump + dislike of loud noises  = no military.

SPEAKING OF WHICH.

morenewmath.com = HILARIOUS SITE.

example;; BACKYARD = MANIFEST DESTINY + FENCES.

or. PARALLEL PARKING = BUMPER CARS - THE AMUSEMENT PARK

or. RAT = (MOUSE x 4) - CUTE

... but I'm getting off topic, aren't i? 

anyways. MY DREAM. 

[ NOTE: it should be noted that i shall post in either all caps or all littles. o; ]

so that dream.

1. i don't know who i was. i know i was fighitn darth vader (yes you read that right) on a ship when yoda sacrificed himself to save me.  he sent me off into hyperspace in an escape pod. however, the pod... slipped out of the hyperspace wormhole (? yeah, i don't get it either. think stargate: sg-1, traveling through the stargate wormhole but instead of making it out the other end, ... going sideways) and i was crash-landed onto this planet.

i would like it to be noted that somehow, i acquired a companion. princess leia,  to be exact, but i called her oracle for some reason. so we met up with han solo, luke skywalker, and, of course, everyone's favorite chewbacca. so they were in this epic battle with the natives of the island.

now, imagine a hill. imagine trees on that hill. imagine snow waist-high. then imagine pushing the snow down the hill, watching as it builds up, and then sliding down after it and shaping the huge mass of built-up snow into a house. that's what we (leia, han, luke, chewie, et moi) did to make the natives homes and therefore end the epic war. so vader's troops decide to join us and help us, because they dom't really feel like fighting either. so we've got all these warriors: red for vader's troops, blue for solo, luke, and chewie's, and green for the natives.

BUT THEN. we're in this command center, and someone has betrayed us all by sending for lord voldemort. han solo, who reveals his true identity to be captain jack sparrow, aka jack, starts giving out orders to battle. 

... i proceeded to wake up. 

2. so there was an epic battle. i was leading my forces with my friends grace and linnea against the evil forces of the dark lord (unnamed. dunno why). we were outnumbered, and we had to fight uphill. we were getting absolutely crushed when finally one brave soul, nick (... dunno who that is) led a his squadron off the side of the slide (think pristine white playground slide + 50 million in size), up, and then back onto the slide.

he was almost successful.

then i woke up to go babysit.